Last month I had a blog post about Kati Morton's video #24.. well yesterday I had a day out. It was the most enjoyable days I have had in months.
I was able to go to one of my favorite places, Shoreline village in long beach, ca. It's a little tourist attraction, shops, restraurants..etc.. there's a marina and harbor, across the harbor is the Queen Mary. I was dropped off here yesterday while my mother went into work a block away. This place for me is a place of rest, and also learning and thinking as I bring my ipod and listen to podcasts, and read books on my kindle app. I prefer to come here alone.. even if I am here for a few hours, It feels like I am on vacation. a much needed break.
My mother later joined me, and we spent time playing in the arcade wasting some cash, having fun.. we then went shopping at the mall. No one called us from home, we had no stress or time limits. All we had to do was bring home dinner.
Like I said I have been relapsed for about 2 weeks, keeping my calories under a limit I feel is safe, only eating foods I feel is also safe. However last night, the first thing I did when we got home was ate dinner without restricting, I had ordered a full meal from chick-fil-a and ate it all, I did not even think of restricting, or even counting the calories. My eating disorder is a way to distract me from what is going on at home.. however leaving home and enjoying my day was a way to distract me from my eating disorder and have a day where everything seemed normal. I am thankful for this. I am also hopeful to emerge from this relapse successfully.
